Monthly Archives: February 2015

System Maintenance Required

At the end of last week, I was asking the Powers That Be to please let my body make it until I finish my grant writing course. The final due date was Sunday. So Sunday I got up early, finished my grant proposal, and went to rehearsal. Things were pretty fine until a few hours later.

I’ve spoken about being hyposensitive before and how it means I’m not always aware of my body is experiencing in that exact moment. Sunday evening, I just knew I needed to lay down and rest.

Cue to me having very weird dreams with a temperature of over 102. By the time I woke up on Monday, I could not see straight, my head felt like it was exploding, I could not swallow or breath without excruciating pain, and had to drive myself to urgent care because I had no idea what was going on with my body.

When I get sick, I get REALLY sick. Part of this because when I start to experience symptoms, it is very normal for my to just shrug them off and continue like nothing is wrong. I have a very high pain threshold so it take me being in a significant amount of pain (above normal) for it to begin to impact my daily life. Once my arm was broken for 3 days before I had it set because it “was only swollen and I can still pick things up with only a little pain.” So to say this pain was a 9 on my scale may give you an idea of how bad it was.

I’m confined to my bed eating copious amount of Popsicles to stay hydrated and watching The Office as I’m trying to recover. I’m so thankful my 20 lb full size weighted blanket arrived yesterday because it feels so relaxing. This is one of those very few times I wish I had a robot servant to bring me Popsicles and the occasional piece of toast. 

Ke$ha butterflies

Today is Valentines day, also known as the day before chocolate goes on sale. I’ve been resisting getting a candy bar all day because 1) I am trying to be healthy and 2) tomorrow chocolate was be as plentiful as snow in New England.

Today is also one of those days where people analyze their relationships or their lack of one. This is one of those days where people get swept away by romance or are upset at the happiness of others. It gets really confusing.

Personally, I love to see my friends happy and in love. It gives me a ray of hope I’ll find someone to be happy with some day. It’s not easy for a person with social anxiety to go out and meet new people, but it is something that does need to happen in order to find a special person. Ah, the double edge sword. Most of the time, my desire to stay in my own social bubble wins out.

I will never be one of those girls who ‘needs’ a romantic relationship. I’m a little lot too independent to get swept up with needing someone to save me. Heck, I’m more likely to do the saving in a relationship or ideally we can make each other better along the journey. I feel people get an idea in their head about what a great relationship looks like without remembering it takes work to make it function properly.

One thing I’ve had to learn the hard way over the past few years is I’d much rather be by myself than in an unhealthy relationship. Being alone with my thoughts is still more comforting than being wrapped in the arms of someone who treats me poorly. I’m worth waiting for someone special who makes me feel like my stomach is filled with a million butterflies dancing to Ke$ha. I’ve been privileged enough to know what it feels like to be loved deeply by another person.

It feels like a million Ke$ha butterflies moving in-synch to “Your Love is My Drug”.

Image from http://neurowonderful.tumblr.com

Accessible Cooking: Immersion Blender

Sometimes, things need to be liquified!

Blenders are wonderful tools for lots of things. However, there are sometimes when adding things to a blender just adds another whole step. Things can get messy and it results in just something else to clean. Cleaning blenders also can be complicated with unscrewing parts and getting really close to the blades.

Immersion Blenders are really fun and can be very inexpensive. The least expensive one I’ve found through an online search is only 10 dollars.

Things I have used my immersion blender for:
Soups
Sauces
Smoothies
Fresh Whipped Cream

One of the really good things about this tool is it can help with making some recipes that normally require repetitive movements, like whipped cream or mayonnaise, a lot easier to do. This tool also helps me make some soups quickly. Sticking this little thing in a huge pot of soup to make it go from chunky to smooth is very simple. I am also in control of how pureed I want things to be, which you can’t always get from a blender.

There is sometimes a risk of splashing depending on the contain you are using or how close to the surface you use this tool. It takes a little trial and error, but I think it is worth it. Clean up is also very simple and doesn’t require you to disassemble the whole thing.

Rating: 4 Spoons!

It takes a little bit of time to get use to it, but it does really help to make things easier.

What would you do?

There is a question I ask friends who come to me with existential questions about their life.

“If money was no object, what would you wake up every day and do?”

Today I got a rejection letter for a job I applied for. It actually was my first job rejection and for that I am grateful. A part of me knew I may not get it, but there was a sting at a different level in the e-mail. It hurt me because I almost threw away everything I’ve been building.

My job as an in-home support worker can be tough at times, but it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever been a part of. During the summer, I also have the privilege to teach a film camp with members of the autism community. Things are going very well for me with performing and, weather permitting, I have a few gigs already booked for this year.

I applied to the job on a whim. The pay wasn’t the best and it would have meant I would have needed to give up some of the travel and conferences already planned for this year. It’s also not a job I would have stayed in for the rest of my life.

After getting the rejection email, I had a conference call about the online classes, arranged another conference call for an upcoming writing project, and finished a posting for a class. Soon, I’ll work on playing with my levi-wand and filming myself for a short fan video.

It takes some perspective to remember I’m not interested in the 9-5 life. A life of adventure is more my speed. Next month is my birthday and I am gifting myself a tattoo which is a very fitting reminder. It’s the phrase Hannibal said while crossing the Alps and it’s also a quote on my business cards.

Aut inveniam viam aut faciam
I will find a way or make one.