Category Archives: Resolutions

The last moon

Tonight is the last full moon of 2016.

For me, that’s a time of reflection and to see how far I have come this past year. I’m honestly sure the distance I’ve traveled cannot be measured in miles, time, or a length of unit I’m familiar with. This year has seen so much interpersonal and professional growth in multiple forms. At most times, I was not fully navigating my course but instead holding on for the ride. And what a splendid ride it was.

Most recently I arrived back home from a trip to Iceland by myself. It was a beautiful country with lots of adventures around every corner. I’ll be working on some “Autistic Abroad” posts in the future based on some of my observations and accommodations. I do love to travel and sometimes need a “proper adventure” where the entire day is up to you with no obligations at all.

As I prepare myself for 2017, I do it quite simply with a little notebook. It’s the same notebook I’ve had for years and it is only written in every few months. It’s a combination of goal book, dream journal, and road map to success. It’s where I very carefully plan out the things I want to accomplish. I say very carefully because, as I’ve proven to myself countless times, when I have my mind set to something there is nothing in the world that can truly stop me.

So here I will sit under the winter moon and plan for my future. I’ll be looking at performing, teaching, and presenting. Those are the three professional areas I’m looking to develop. There will be lots of overlap and other things may arise, but it’s good to begin to have a solid plan. My interpersonal developmental goals revolve around health/wellness, relationships, exploration, and self-care. I’ve begun to learn the valuable importance this year of not working too hard and I plan to improve on that in the coming year. Exploration refers to learning new skills, like cheese making and welding, or recovering some old ones like working on my French skills.

People make resolutions once a year, but honestly anytime is a good time to reflect and look for improvements. I’ve already actively begun to reshape things for myself and am look forward to what 2017 can bring me with a clear focus.

Obligatory Look Back

Yup… Everyone does one of these. It’s nothing new and in fact it’s all about the old. This is the day when people look back with a skewed light and reflect on the blip that was 2014.

For me, it was exactly how I expected to spend my 25th year on this earth: unscripted chaos.

The year started with major health scare in the family and progressed to being on the receiving end of months of domestic abuse. I’ve chosen to leave behind decade long friendships in the wake and have begun to really do that whole “define positive/healthy relationships” thing people do in their 20s as I move forward into the shining future.

On the flip side, I’ve stepped up the independent/freelancer gig and had an amazing time teaching a summer camp for kinestetic learners. I did presentations in several states and begun some amazing partnerships with amazing people. 2015 is going to be the year I graduate with a Master’s degree (if it kills me) and will open some amazing new doors.

When I was younger, on my list of resolutions for years was “Get a boyfriend.” I’m not sure when it disappeared from my list, possibly the same time I stopped thinking of gender as binary and became aware I could make choices, but it has not been on it in almost a decade. I use to think of Resolutions as a Post-Christmas list of things I wanted to do for myself. In 2013 I made a list of resolutions I planned to keep and I’ve included them below with commentary.

– I will challenge myself physically and mentally to become a healthy and strong person.  (… I would have liked the circumstances to be different…)
– I will focus on doing very well in Graduate School. (Got good grades and only needed one incomplete!)
– I will make writing a priority for me and do my best to establish a career as a writer in this coming year. (Oh Hi blog….This is what executive functioning fails look like)
– I will resume being involved in the local film community and try some photography modeling. (Check and Check on both of these.)
– I will keep my current skills fresh by dedicating time to practice and expand to learn new skills. (I’ve learned fire fans, leviwand, fire eating, and fleshing. Awesome!)
– I will work to foster new relationships and take the time to grow the ones I already have. (I also did some much needed pruning).

So as for my resolutions this year? Well, that’s going to come in a little bit. It’s not that I don’t have them already in the works, it’s just I want you to think about your own goals for 2015 and look at what is holding you back. For me, it has been the fear of jumping into something (be it a relationship or a freelance gig) and not getting what I want out of it. Turning down jobs and some relationships this year helped get my mind ready to what it is that I want. Although I’ve been M.I.A. from this blog for a month, I have been doing things behind the scenes to get 2015 in motion.

2014 was like the date that takes you to a bowling alley and makes you pay for everything because they “forgot their wallet”. It wasn’t the worst time and I still had fun, but I deserve more for myself. If I’m going to spend my time and energy on things, let’s make them things I enjoy doing.

Hold your horses!

Last night we had a new moon in the sky. It was the second new moon in the same month and this phenomenon is called a black moon. This new moon also marked the beginning to the Chinese New Year. We have now moved from the year of the snake to the year of the horse.

For those unfamiliar with the Chinese zodiac, it is a 12 year cycle with an animal representing each year. In one folk story, the order of these animals was said to be decided by their arrival in a race decreed by the Jade Emperor. The animals arrived in the order of Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig. The origin stories of the zodiac vary, but of course I love a good story.

I was born in 1989 in the year of the Snake. Every 12 years, it is the year of the snake again and said to be a very favorable year for me. That’s an understatement if there ever was one!

The new moon also signifies new beginnings. For me, this is the little extra push towards being a freelance mental health professional and performer. Yes, I want to do both and I can do both. Already this month I’ve applied to casting calls, auditioned for a few films, and have already been cast in a student film as well as working on a film skit tomorrow.

I’ve been working towards this lifestyle for awhile and now that I am so close to living it 24/7, the important thing is maintaining it. I’ve never been the type of person who gets really comfortable standing still. The world is too big and beautiful for me to not want to see and do everything!

So now’s the time, people! Let’s go out there and take charge of our lives and passions. If you have already given up on your resolutions for change, guess what, you have another chance to start over. In fact, every day you have the chance to take charge and turn your life in a positive direction. Even the smallest step can be the beginning to bring you to a whole new location.

2014 is here and let’s make the most of it before we are doing this all again in 2015!

Riding into the New Year

If I could have guessed where I’d be at the end of this year back in January, nothing could have really prepared me for the position I’m in now. Not to say there were not hints in my career or performance life, but nothing really pointing me in one direction. It was all up to me to figure out which direction to head towards and that’s sometimes the most terrifying and most magical aspect of it all.
As the new year dawns, I can finally say I am excited for it. Change can be difficult for me and normally leads to stress. Worrying about losing things important to me has been an anxiety of mine for years. People naturally grow apart and closer with time, this is normal. Even though I worry about my future and work and relationships, these are all normal things everyone worries about from time to time.
I’m very fortunate to be a person with so many interests because I truly believe I can do just about anything. This can lead to problems when my directions split so drastically, I can and do get easily distracted. Though in all fairness, I think that is part of being a 24 year old. So I wrote things down for myself in my little planner, yes I finally got a planner and try to use it. These are my resolutions;
– I will challenge myself physically and mentally to become a healthy and strong person.
– I will focus on doing very well in Graduate School.
– I will make writing a priority for me and do my best to establish a career as a writer in this coming year.
– I will resume being involved in the local film community and try some photography modeling.
– I will keep my current skills fresh by dedicating time to practice and expand to learn new skills.
– I will work to foster new relationships and take the time to grow the ones I already have.
Each of those things can be expanded on, and will be, in the coming weeks. I’ve already been working on some of these things, but it’s time to turn it up to 11 and make things work. My goals may seem vague to others, but they are written like that so I don’t reveal everything at once.
To those who have been on this journey with me, stay tuned to see what’s coming up next. Big things are happening in the world around us and this is a very interesting time we live in. I don’t know where I’ll be sitting a year from now, but I can only hope I’m as happy as I am now. I’m sitting on a train with my Vaudeville Troupe heading to Boston to preform for New Years Eve in the Boston Commons.
Remember, the new year is a chance for a fresh start. We have the ability to begin anew and be whoever we want to be. Embrace the new moon tonight and think seriously of what you would like to do in the New Year. Take care and treat each other well.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!