Category Archives: Passion

Dear You, Happy Birthday.

3/10/2014
Dear Me,

Please know, it will get worse. That feeling in your gut will not lessen; please learn to listen to it.
That nagging feeling when you wake up in a cold sweat and can’t get back to sleep will not go away. When you hear a door abruptly shut and flinch because it will not “just get better with time”.
When  you want to make a plan with a friend and it makes you afraid they will leave you standing on a street corner, that is just considered ‘normal’ in your mind.
Things will be horrible for half this year (2014).
 ……
But when you turn the corner, things will get amazing.
You’ll finally start to appriciate yourself.
You will finally understand ability and disability in a global view.
There is an amazing home you can grow a wonderful garden in and remember what the ground feels like between your fingers.
School ends and it will not be as scary as you think.
The home you will make will be unlike anything you had imagined.
You remember what strong feels like.
You will never be truly alone as love will be in your heart.
…….
I wish I could hug you
and say we will all still be friends next year,
but that would not be true.
Know the price we pay will be worth in it in the end.
~B
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3/10/16
Dear Me,
We did it!!!!!!!
At times we wanted to give up knowing it felt like the weight of the world was on our shoulders. It seemed an impossible feet but it was accomplished in just the nick of time. There is nothing stopping us from this final journey.
Just take the one last step we need.
Just a leap, as we know our ways along the rocky coast.
This project is going to help so many people.
………
Blessed are you for remembering love.
You opened your heart and let such wonder and light fill you to the brink, overflowing into the ocean.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve paid off.
Be very happy you know what love feels like and know things will only get even better.
Finally we understand how others should treat us.
~B
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3/10/15
Dear Me,
It’s okay to be as happy as we are and not think the other shoe is going to drop.
We’ve turned the corner of success and our dedication will carry us through.
Resiliency is the greatest gift our family has passed on.
Please remember to laugh.
~B

 Happy Birthday to Me~

How do we get the control that we might need to feel safe? I say that the first thing that we need control of is ourselves.-Reference from Aeprils Astrology

Fear of the professional waitress

There is an unspoken fear in artistic communities. It’s the fear of doing the job you use to support your creative soul, like being a waitress, and ending up doing it more than your creative passions.

This happened to me last year.

I woke up one day in June and realized it had been months since I went to an audition. It had been months since I saw a play. Even my flow arts wasn’t as flowy as it should be because life had gotten in the way.

The change to live my life to my fullest creative pursuit was not something I did lightly. It was, and still is, a big choice.

In the past week, I’ve been tested as to what I want. The choices are literally piling up on me and it is my responsibility to sort through the different options. It’s not an easy choice, so luckily the universe sent me reinforcements.

While taking a nap the other day, I felt my phone vibrate. Even though my phone was set to silent, something told me there was an important call I missed. It was from one of my Otter friends. He’s an amazing guy I’ve only met once in person, but we use to talk all the time. Things got crazy and my computer is pretty much on life support, so we haven’t talked in a few months. Still, he called me at the right time. He makes a living off of freelance drawing and commission pieces. We talked a bit about how much time it takes to make a living off of our passion projects. He’ll work 6 hours a day at least and some days much longer. He does it because he loves it and is great at it. There are days I’m putting in 12 hour days working to support myself and still get 3 hours in of my passion projects.

This past week, I was offered the opportunity to work full time at my job again.
I had to say no.
I said no because it was way more important for me to continue to follow my passion.
12,14,16,18 hour days don’t affect me the same if there is a spark of passion.

Pretty sure I’ve mentioned “The Question” I ask everyone who is discontent with their life.
“If money was no object, what would you want to wake up and do every day?”
My answer has changed into one simple word that reminds me I’m on the right path.

This.
This is what I want to do every day.